marypoopins: (kicking geriatric farts)
Kagura ([personal profile] marypoopins) wrote2010-09-20 06:21 pm

State of the Union

I am struggling with my math homework so sure, why not. NO FANCY CODING BECAUSE I AM LAZY. Super bare bones. And incoherent stream of consciousness

REVERSE ORDER, starting with me:

I find myself less enthusiastic about RP in general. The attention I devote to RP has always been inconsistent. Sometimes I'm REALLY INTO IT and then I go through days of not logging into any of my character journals. That's normal for me! But lately I've just donnn't feel like it. I tag things, and then I just kind of let the thread die within 3 comments. I have amazing (new) castmates and I don't even play with them enough. I feel like suck for making people put up with me :| It's not a time thing, because I'm still in IRC. Idk.

HOW DOES I MOTIVATION. I'm hoping it fixes itself when my mood generally improves.



Now I am in one of the suck periods.

I've play Kagura for a year. I don't think my playing now compares at all to how I played her in the first couple of months. I was better at getting her out. I was a lot more creative and funny then. I have my moments but I feel stale and one trick pony a lot of the time. But whatever, I'll have an awesome thread and all these thoughts will go away again until the next time they pop up. <- REMINDING MYSELF THIS IS JUST CLOCKWORK AND I WILL GET OVER IT

My biggest problem with Kagura is the main problem I have with RP in general. I signed her up to do a lot of counseling stuff but I haven't even done that. I've had a month to do so. :(

I also have little CR outside of my cast. What little CR I do have, I don't really maintain. Since I'm lazy about bringing her out (but at v. least I'll make myself do it for my cast), I feel like I'm slowly becoming a canon cluster fuck too.


...NOW TRUCY /DOES/ ONLY THREAD WITH CANON NOW. I don't know when it started happening, but I don't bring her out enough unless it's to play with a castmate. And I hate that this has happened. Trucy's Trucy and she should be out doing things, and I'm not doing it. ...I also don't even play with castmates that much either. /)____(\

And I haven't played Apollo Justice in almost 2 years. I'm horribly rusty with Trucy and I'm just half assing it by just being on perky! adorable! auto pilot.


HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh God. Why is he in my line up? So I totally let his intropost die with tags left without even commenting to once. I'M REALLY SORRY.

I know exactly what was wrong with the intro post exactly 10 minutes after posting it, but I decided to just roll with it. But it just didn't sit right with me. "Gino doesn't offer to sign autographs! WHY WOULD HE? Okay I guess this is a exception and I need a post hook!" It also set up a situation which made it really hard to play him. Gino has a huge ego, but it's warranted because HE IS AWESOME and people begrudgingly accept that. But camp is different people won't bend to his will and call him on his smug assholery, I was okay playing it for a couple of comments but it just felt really overwhelming after a while. And the comments he wasn't reacting in full smug assholery I felt were really boring? I HAVEN'T PLAY A NORMAL-ISH CHARACTER IN A LONG TIME.

The situation with Gino is really strange. I think I should drop him, (and I do feel like it from time to time) but I'm not getting the horrible guilt I usually have when I don't play a new character. He's kind of in limbo as I decide what to do. I hate to be TWO FOR TWO FOR THE NEW CHARACTER FAIL. (I still feel shitty for giving up so quickly with Jessie -- it kind of kicked me in my RP confidence gut)

And a nice anon said they love him! What the heck, I didn't think people even pay attention or knew this obscure canon. And he's been somewhat of a focus in the recent episodes and generally amazing and and idk.

Okay now I gotta QUICKLY LEAVE AND GO TO DINNER This was supposed to be quick and dirty sotu.